Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
