when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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