epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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