Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
