I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
