So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
