He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
