But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
