Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
