Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
