i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
