Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
