Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
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He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
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college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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