After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
