Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
