I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
