In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
