dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I bet he comes in French.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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