apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I am naked and annoyed.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
