I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
