Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
