..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I didn't notice because vodka
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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