Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I intend to get homeless drunk
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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