Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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