I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
