Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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