it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
