Well apparently he's into motor boating.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
