Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize