Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Randomize
