We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
