That's when you crack a 10am beer
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize