i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Randomize