I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
