i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
tell me about the fingering
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