worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
