Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
