The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
