so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Edward fifth and chaser hands
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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