Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
