they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
