I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
