3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.