My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
