haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.