Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
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I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!