you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.