Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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