I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.