I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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