ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
