Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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