Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
