just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
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