escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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