he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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