All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Ketchup is God's man juice
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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