Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
