I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
