she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
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