Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Randomize
