I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
