I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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