he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
